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About The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899 | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1897)
fiiscellany. IN ARCADY. It was easy to say "I love yout" Under a summer sky. When the hours went slow and the bees hummed low, And the winds went whispering by. For we were young and happy, ' Nothing of life knew we; - iit- And what more sweet than with careless feet .. To wander in Arcady? To-day, in a book forgotten. I found a rose you had kissed. .Do you remember the moonlight? The path to the lover's tryst? And do you sometimes, I wonder, Think of the past and me? And wish some day we could steal away And wander in Arcady? Ah, no, 'tis a foolish fancy, The dream is dreamed and over. And you have forgotten the dear, dead days When I was your royal lover; For we were two weary worldlings. Seldom from care set free. And never again can we find the path That leads through Arcadyl Detroit Free Press. THE INSPECTOR'S LOSS Inspector Hookyer had served Ms twenty-five years In the detective force, and his colleagues were entertaining him at a little farewell dinner. In an ticipation of his forthcoming retirement The chairman having eulogized the guest of the evening to an extent that brought a blush to the face of that case hardened officer, the Inspector rose to reply, and at the finish he said: "The chairman has said that I never let a man slip through my fingers after I had once got on his track, but I am sorry to say he Is wrong. I am bound to acknowledge that once an offender was too clever for me." "Tell us about it," arose spontaneous ly from almost every throat, and In spector Hookyer, In response to the re quest, gave the story. "It was a good many years ago now when I had intrusted to me a case of a young woman named Eliza Thick- broom, who had been found dead (evi dently murdered by having her throat cut) In some fields adjoining a canal near a town In Lancashire. She had been a domestic servant, and was of a very retiring, staid disposition, and bore an irreproachable character. Her friends lived In quite another part of the country, and her mistress had no knowledge of her keepjng company or anything of that kind. For some time I bad considerable difficulty in fixin the crime or any reason for it Upon anyone, but at last, after a lot of In quiry, I ascertained that she had been out walking with a man named Lam prey, who lived near Stockport, "in Che shire, some thirty miles from where Eliza Tbickbroom resided. "It seemed that the girl had been In the habit of spending her holiday, when she had a day off, In geing to Stockport, where Lamprey met her, and that she had become engaged to him, but that, hearing something to his discredit, she had refused to have anything more to do with him, and, so far, nothing fur ther was known to Implicate Lamprey In the crime, but I, of course, at once took the train to Stockport and proceed ed to hunt up Lamprey, and to make inquiries In the town where he resided. "I knew nothing about him except his nacae, but from the local police and cautious questions of one and another, I ascertained that be had been a sailor and was then a 'steeplejack,' and one of the best climbers known. "'Jack Lamprey!' cried one man to whom I had spoken. 'Ah, he can climb, for sure, can Jack I Why, he climbed to the very tep of yon steeple,' pointing to the church hard by, which had a spire remarkably tall and slender, and very hard to mount 'After the storm had damaged the weather cock Jack climb ed and fixed it all alone for the parson, ana he refused to be paid for It' "The man seemed to look upon Lam prey's refusing payment as more won derful than bis climbing the steeple, and perhaps he was right Well, bit by bit, I found little things which, when pieced together, pointed unmistakably to Jack Lamprey as the murderer. He had, un til recently, been seen frequently in and about Stockport with the girl, but for the last two or three months she had not been observed In his company. He had been a Jolly sort of fellow, but since the girl had ceased her visits it bad been noticed that he had become moody and silent, and he had taken to drink a good deal, although he had ore- viousiy Deen a most abstemious man. "He was away from his lodgings on the ntgbt of the murder, and on his re turn early the next day he was travel- stained, as if he had walked a long way. TTIa InnJInAn - m 1 ll. , . . . . Ui3 lauutauj icuicuiucinj lilac De I01U her be had fallen down In some chem ical works where he had been on a lob. - and had stained his clothes, and she recollected immediately after his ar rival home he had busied himself brush ing and sponging his garments. "There was sufficient to Justify me In obtaining a warrant; but he was away on a Job no one knew where exactly. except that It was somewhere near Liv erpooland It was useless for me to leave Stockport, where I had the best chance of catching him, on a wild goose chase to Liverpool without better in formation. My only course was to wait and keep quiet till he came back, which he was expected to do the following day. "I took every precaution to prevent anyone knowing that he was 'wanted, but some 'pal' must have got to suspect It and given him warning. The police in Liverpool had been wired to, and had kept watch of all trains In the direction of Stockport, and toward evening of the second day I received the intimation that a man resembling his description had taken the train and was on his way. Assisted by a local detective who knew the man, 1 watched every pas senger out of the train on its arrival at Stockport but no Jack Lamprey alight ed, and, on inquiring of the guard, it seemed pretty certain that he had got out at Cbeadle, a station a few miles outside of Stockport "It was the beginning of winter and night had set In, so that It was extreme ly doubtful If we could follow the man, ibtt we-took a train which was Just go ing out of. the station, and in a few minutes were at Cheadle. I there made certain that my man had got out He had booked for Stockport and had given" up his ticket, but do all we could we could get no trace of him. He had left the station immediately on leaving the train; no one knew him and we could find no one to tell us anything more. So, hoping perhaps to pick up a clew on the road, we walked back to Stockport and on to the town where he lived, which was a few miles the other side, but our tramp was in vain. "We had left instructions at Stockport for Lamprey's lodgings to be watched, but by some blunder a man had not fceen sent there for ome time, and, much to my anger and disgust, when I arrived at his house I found that he had been there, just for five minutes, his landlady said, and had left again with a bag of clothes. "1 was mighty savage, you can guess, both with myself and with the police of the place for not keeping a better look out, but it was no use losing my head over It, and 1 at once set to work dog ging his footsteps after he had left his lodgings. In the public house which he frequented I came, across a man to whom I had .previously spoken,, who 'seemed to know Lamprey in a very dis tant sort of way, and I turned the con versation on the man I wanted. "'Ah! I've just seen him, said the fellow. 'About an hour ago or mayhap a little more. He was going to Maccles field, he said, to catch the early train In the morning Into Staffordshire, where he's got another Job. He seemed In a mighty hurry, too.' "I had reason afterward to think that this man was the- one who had given Lamprey warning, but whether that was so or not his information that night appeared to be correct, for I met several people who had seen Jack going across the fields toward Marple, which was his best way of getting to Macclesfield from the place he lived In; but when I arrived at Marple station I was at fault again, for no train had been out for quite two hours, and although I waited till the last train to Macclesfield had left Lamprey did not show up. "Tried and vexed beyond description. I tramped back and got what rest 1 could, hoping that something might turn up in the morning to assist me In recovering the ground I had lost, but afraid that for once I had let my quarry slip, and that I might never catch him, now that he was aware he was being tracked. "Sure enough, something did turn np In the morning, and something which confirmed my fears, though I felt that I had got my man dead if I had missed him alive. The postman tame around soon after 7, before it was quite light, and I had only Just got up when a boy came running in with a letter, which had been delivered at the police station. It bore the Marple postmark, and was addressed to !The Detective from Lon don. "Tearing it open, I read something like this: " "From John Lamprey. I know you are after me, and I know what for. managed to keep out of your way to night and I meant to try and get down south, but you are sure to have me, sooner or later, so I've determined to make an end of it Look at the church steeple when you get this to-morrow morning.' "The church steeple was a tall and prominent feature whichever way you turned, and I had only to go to the end of the street to get a full view of It When I got there and looked up I saw something that gave me a start In the uncertain light of the early njornlng I could discern against the gray sky, hanging by the neck to one of the Iron loops which serve for a ladder on the side of the spire, the figure of a man! " 'So much for Jack Lamprey! I said to myself, as I hurried to the police station. 'He has saved me any more trouble.' "By the time I had been to the station and back to the church it was broad daylight, and of course the body hang ing aloft had been seen and a crowd had already collected, every one recog nizing it as that of Jack Lamprey. " 'A strange freak,' I remarked to the sergeant who was with me. " 'I don't think so, he replied. 'Jack had made himself a sort of hero over going up the spire to repair the vane and there was nothing more likely to occur to his mind than to finish his career at the same place.' "There was no one round Stockport who would venture up the spire and a telegram had to be sent to Stalybridge for a man to come and get the body down. It was past midday before the steeplejack arrived and by that time half Stockport had heard of the affair. 'I shall never forget the few minutes that followed, while the steeplejack (now looking the size of a little child) made his way very cautiously close up to the body and, fixing a rope to it, made his preparations for lowering It to his assistant, who was waiting on the top of the square tower to receive it There was something awfully sad and solemn about It all! 'In due course the assistant received the corpse, which he let down to the ground and everyone around me re marked that he swung it roughly to the earth, without showing the respect which might have been looked for. In fact some actually called out 'Shamer 'But all at once the hush which bad fallen upon the crowd was broken by a storm of jeers and laughter! The thing which had given us all trouble was nothing but a guy! And I never felt such a fool In all my life. 'So that he might get nearly a day's start Lamprey had cleverly misled me the night before. While I had been wasting my time at Marple he had been employed in stuffing the suit of clothes which he had taken from his lodgings with straw, making a very passable rep resentation of himself, and In the mid dle of the night he had climbed the steeple (which was child's play to him) and left his effigy to deceive me and lull me into inaction. "I need not dwell upon the chaff I re ceived. It Is too painful, even now, for me to recall without annoyance, but you may be sure that I quickly made myself scarce. . 'Did the fellow get clear?" asked someone. "Yes. He took the train to the east coast and succeeded in getting to Holland unnoticed," replied Hookyer. 'But he hanged himself in earnest some considerable time afterward, leaving a letter behind admitting his guilt and stating thathls conscience troubled him so that he could not bear to live." Tit Bits. Well-Pald Clergy. The Established Church in England pays its preachers well. ' The salary of the Archbishop of Canterbury is $75,- 000 per annum. The Archbishop of York has $50,000; the Bishop of Lon don, $50,000; the Bishop of Durham, $35,000; the Bishop of Winchester, $32,- 500; the Bishop of Bangor, $21,000; the Bishop of Bath and Wells, $25,000; the Bishop of Ely, $27,500; of Gloucester, $25,000; of Chester, $21,000; of Exeter, $21,000; of Hereford, Lichfield, Liver pool, Lbandaff, Manchester, Ripan, St Asaph, $21,000 each; of Carlisle, Lin coln, Norwich, Peterborough, St" Da vids, $22,500 each; Oxford, Salisbury, Worcester, $25,000 each; NewcasCe, $16,000; Rochester, $19,000; St Albans, $16,000; Sodor and Man, $9,000; South well, $17,500; Truro, $15,000; Wake field, $15,000 ;and then besides there is an army of deans, bishops, suffragans, canons, etc. In View of Recent Events. 'Jimson wants the Presidency of the Fifth National Bank, doesn't her ' Yes; but he stands no show against Shumway." "What's Shumway'a recommendation for the place?" He hasn't any relatives. V-Cleveland Plain Dealer. KING'S WIFE IN A WORKHOUSE. Ead Story of a Refined Woman and Her Wretched Bnd. The romances of the London -workhouses would form a thrilling and pa thetic record, and for sad vicissitudes and ill luck few cases could surpass that of an Inmate of one of these pooi houses who has recently passed away. A lady visiting the Institution was struck by the evident refinement of an elderly woman in the infirmary, who was a Norwegian by birth, but who spoke English and other languages flu ently. She had all the beaux restes of a very lovely woman, which years of poverty and ill health could not de stroy. She was very reticent as regard ed her past, but was so evidently a ?en tlewoman that the sympathetic visitor exerted herself to obtain admission for the invalid into a home for the dying, in which she might pass her hist days iu peace and amid congenial surround ings. Before her death the stranger told her story, and a strange and romantic one It proved to be. At 17 she was in formed by her parents that she was to be married, and although she had no voice in the matter nothing could have been more satisfactory. Her husband was handsome, cultured and devoted. They lived in a charming country house, surrounded by every luxury, and four children were born to the couple. The only drawback to the per fect happiness of the young wiff were the long and frequent absences of her husband, which he attributed to busi ness, but would explain no further. At last there came a day when the man returned no more from his accus tomed Journey, but sent his lawyer in stead, from whom the bewildered and heartbroken woman learned that' her supposed husband was the king of and that, owing to pressing reasons, the liaison should terminate. An ade quate sum was settled on her and the children, and, wishing to break entire ly with the past, she cam; to live in London. After some years she married an Englishman and shortly after the king died, leaving a lump sum to her. This money the husband got from ker to invest and ran off with, the entire amount, leaving his unfortunate wife penniless. She had never been trained to do any sort of work, and thiags vent from bad to worse until, utterly desti tute and dying, she became an inmate of the workhouse. Sunday-School Libraries. Edward W. Bok has been making a careful and coinprebeas've exam nation of Sunday-school libraries, and in the Ladies' Home Journal he confesses himself disgusted with the literature thus placed in the hands of our boys and girls. A less complete investiga tion, Mr. Bok says, would not have made it possible for him to believe that the libraries of our Sunday-schools were stocked with such piles of rub bish "wishy-washy literature,'' as he terms it He quotes .the titles and give the themes of a number of books he obtained from Sunday-school libraries, and these seem to completely warrant his conclusions. "Such books," he con tends, "are an insult to the Intelligence of the young people, and have a per nicious influence. Instead of being healthy books they are decidedly un healthy In tone and teaching. Surely we are cultivating a dangerous ta3te for reading in the young when we feed them on such rubbish." Mr. Bok unhesitatingly lays a part of the blame upon the Publication Boards and Societies, which are influ enced by a denominational spirit that narrows their choice of books, lhen again, it is shown that the most medi ocre sort of "talent" is employed to write these books, and that beggarly prices less than $80 per book are oaid. A shnre of responsibility. Mr. Bok asserts, rests upon the men who purchase Sunday-school libraries, who, as is most frequently the case, are not qualified for the task, and whose ob ject is to secure a library as cheap as possible. Mr. Bok warmly urges that the selection of Sunday-school books be left to women, who "instinctively know and feel the kind of a book which a bov or girl will read and enjoy." He Insists that women should be given carte blanche to make the selections so far as the prescribed amount of mon ey will go. "A hundred good books,' Mr. Bok concludes, "are far better than five hundred books of indifferent in terest," which are bought s'mp'y be cause they are cheap. "A Sunday school library cannot be created in a day, and no discouragement should be felt if the financial means of the church are contracted, and necessitate the pur chase of only a few books at a time." The Chicago Stock Yards. It Is very interesting to watch the sale of horses in the arena at the yards. You enter at a large door and are In troduced to some horsy-looking man. commonly red-headed, and then this course of secret society hailing and re sponse Is gone through as eligible' for the higher glories of a place alongside the railing of the arena: "So .you're from Chicago,' Mr. Brown?" "Yes." "Good town." "We think so up there." "But she ain't in it with the National yards on mules," very decisively. "Ah," says the candidate for the es quire degree. "Is that so? Do you think so?" "Think so?" retorts the red-haired chancellor commander, "There's no call to think. It's true." "Yes?" "Yes. And horses, too. National yards just wallops the daylights out of Chicago on horse sales." . "You don't say." "You bet I do. Why, we send horses to Germany, Arabia, Iceland, the South Pole, Saturn, the Milky Way and Nep tune. Our sales and shipments last year were " And then he goes on rolling out ciphers and figures and sta tistics like a sort of volcanic eruption. If you, the candidate for further mys teries, are wise and cautious, you will assent to this villainous -insult to your town's greatness and supremacy, and will be allowed to approach the arena and, indeed, may be given a cigar. The cigar, however, you should by no means smoke. It was made by an in competent and excited non-union man, and the materials were jimsonweed, and the maker was in a hurry Chica go News. An Egyptian Advertisement. The story of the proposed trolley line from Cairo to the pyramids recalls an other instance of modern enterprise. A certain tract society commissioned a painter to place religious texts on all available objects in Egypt. He traced this question on one of the pyramids: "Do you want to be saved?" "Another painter. In the interest of a quack medicine concern, came alou.c and added beneath: "If you do, take Blank's Piils." At lanta Constitution. : : Nearly every - man is compelled -i walk up bill to reach ' Is grave HIDDEN PLACES. Why a weasel should hate a rat is stranga as he is only an elongated rat himself. Rats, ind mice love hidden places, and a weasel is about the only living thing that can tind them out. Aches and pains are iike rats and mice. They seek out the hidden places of the human system and in law and ravage the muscles and nerves. St. Jacobs Oil, like a weasel, knows how to a;o for them. It will penetrate tothesecret recesses of the pain, and breaks up its ftab itatioji and drives it out. Hats and mice shun-the corners where a weasel has been, and pains and aches once fairly driven out by t. Jacobs Oil are permanently cured and seldom come back to their old "haunts. There must be patience with the treatment; some chronic forms are stubborn and re sist,. but the great remedy will finally con quer and give health aiid strength to the artiicted parts. . A fish with ' nine mouths was cap tured in California recently, and ich thyologifitp are in doubt what to name it THE FAULTS AND FOLLIES OF THE AGE Are numerous, bnt of the latter none is more ridiculous than the promiscuous and random se of laxative pills and other drastic cathar Sics. These wrench, convulse and weaken both ;he stomach and bowels. It Hostetter's Stom ach Hitters be used instead of these no-rem-ed'es, ihe result is accomplished without pain nd with great benefit to the bowels, the stomach and the liver. Use this remedy when constipation mani eats itself, and thereby pre vent it from b-'foniing chronic. Salicylic acid, boric acid, borax and formaldehyde are some of the chemi cals added to prevent milk from souring. ' - HOMK PRODUCTS AND PURE FOOD. All Tastern Syrup, so-called, usually very light coiored and of heavy body, is made from glucose. "Ira Harden Drips" is made from Sugar fane and is strictly pure. It is for sale by first-class grocers, in cans only. Manufac tured by the I'acifk: Coast Sykup Co. All gen uine "Ten Gttflrn ria" haye the manufac turer's name lithographed on every can. : Two bottles of Piso's Cnre for Consump tion cured me of a bad lung trouble. Mrs. J. Nichols, Princeton, Ind., March 26, 1895. In the fiords of the Norway coasts the clearness of the water is wonderful. At a depth of thirty fathoms objects the size of a silver dollar may be clear ly seen. A wealthy gentleman in Paris, whose wife could not resist the desire to gam ble; has secured a legal seperation from, her. In six months she had lost 435, 000 francs. A - proposition . to reorganize forty counties in Western Kansas in four large ones is being agitated in that state. Warner's Safe Cure IN LARCE I OR SMALL ) BOTTLES. I Ill Owing to the many requests from its patrons, Warner's Safe ' Cure Co. have put on the market a O J-F EJ:; J, smaller size bottle of Safe Cure -which can now be obtained at all druggists at half the price of the large bottle. KIDNEY AKD LIVER. TC1S C0MtA2O3 MALAIUA. ,WUM3 SAFtCUKC is not only a scientific vegetable preparation and does all that is claimed for it, but it is the only Kidney and Liver medicine used by the best people of four conti nents. A medicine that bears the stamp of the world's ap proval, and maintains its posi tion for a fifth of a century, must necessarily possess pe culiar merit. Reading dealers every where sell FERRY'S SEE! Don't riflk the losa of time, labor and ground Djr piantinjtseeasoi an Known qn&i- lty. i ne msricet u ran 01 cnoap. uarenanie seeds, f fcnnY SLEC3 areaiwivs the beet; do not accept aiy substitute. Seed Annnal Free. ,M. FERRY & CO.. Detroit, Sent Free! To any person interested in humane matters, or who loves animals, we will senrt tree, upon application, a copy of the "ALLI ANCE,".tbe organ . of this Society. In addition to its in tensely interesting reading, it con tains a list of the valuabfe and un usual premiums given by the paper. Address THE NATIONAL HUMANE ALLIANCE 410-411 United Charities Building, New York. The Universal Supply House, Established 1885 DA S U P P LI ES MILL Groceries, Hardware, Agricultural Implements. Harness, Boots, Shoes, Dry Goods, Music, Etc. Bend 4c for Large Illustrated Catalogues. PRODUCE TAKEN IN EXCHANGE. Home Supply Co., 13 Front St:,San Franc'S3o,Cal. $10 FOR THE ON. ly perfect Incu bator made.' Freight Prepaid to your nearest Railroad Station or Steamer Landing. The finest Incubator Catalogue ever issued mailed free if you write and mention this paper TZTALUMA H7CUBAT0R CO., Fetaluma, Cal- WHEAT Make money by suc cessinr speculation in Chicago. We buy and sell wheat there on mar gins. Fortunes have been made on a small beginning by trailing in fniuies. Write for full particulars. Best of reference given. Sev eral years' exp Tience on the Chicago Board of Trade, and a iliorongh knowledge of the busi ness. Downing, Hopkins 4 Co., ChKO Board of Trade Brokers. Ofliees in Portland, Oregon, Spokane and Seattle, Wash. razors 11 In sizes FINEST IN THE W0SLD. Finok's "C. C" Eazor In sizes 4-8. 5-8 and 6-8. Price. $2.30. can De exenangea it not satisiactory. Send for General Catalogue or Catalogue of Sporting Goods or Barber Supplies. WILL & FINCK CO., 820 Market St. . San Francisco, Cal. FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE SICK or "Just Don't Feel Well,"- EhSiSSSSUlVER PILLS are the One Thing to use. Only One for a Dose. Sold by Druggists at 25o. a box Samples mailed free. Address Or. Bosanko Bed. Co. Fbila. Fa. 9 Mr, winslow's Soothing sybuf should always be J V used for children teething. It soothes the child, soft- 4 i ens the puns, allays all pain, cures wind colic, and is 4 i .the best remedy for diarrhoea. Twenty fire cents a i plJPTURE and PII.ES cured; no pay un it, til cured : send for book. Drs. Mansfield & FOETERFIELD, 388 Market St., San Francisco. N.P.N.U. No. 696. &F.N.U. No. 773 pi igf f1 &ldAV&MMIhmkl Ti CURtiTrYHfcsfAU. &SErAILS7 p3 I J Beit Conga Bjrup. Taste Good. Vat f t Most British geologists are now pre-; pared to admit that. the earth has pass--ed through several glacial periods, in stead of only one, as is commonly 'supposed. - - J A T .in finiantiot lino 1 1- von tfiil i mirror of celuloid which accurately re flects every object. The celuloid rnir .ror is unbreakable, and is cheaper than glass and lighter. ' The hissing sound produced by ser pents is greatly exaggerated, as the quantity of air contained in a snake's lungs is too small to produce-a- loud sound when ejected. In the opinion of Crispi, former prime minister of Italy, Americans are working to prepare a future for the peo ple of the Old World which is not -an agreeable one. " . - - - Hunters in Kansas earn about $2 a day slaying jack rabbits. The skins are sold for three cents each to Eastern hatters, who use the hair in the manu facture of soft hats. In the mountains of Sweden, Norway and Lapland all vegetation would be destroyed by the Norway rats were it not for the white foxes, that make spe cial game of the rodents. The lighting of certain of the London prisons by electricity is under consider ation, and is proposed to erect a special description of treadwheel to supply the motive power. St. Louis, Mo., is the largest street car manufacturing city in the world The output last year was about 3,000 cars. ' The velocity of light is 186,880 miles per second. A Young Woman Gains 20 Pounds Her Physiciam ia Iowa Said She Was Going Into a Decline, and That Her Lungs Were Affected They Sent Her to Nevada. But to Figbt lung Tronbles or Any Wasting IMaeaae, ISuild np Tour Flesh. From the Express, Los Angeles, Cal. Two years ago, back in Eastern Iowa, Miss Maude Lease began to go into a decline. She lost flesh rapidly. Her appetite failed. . Fearful headaches nearly drove her frantic. She consulted local physicians good, honest, practi tioners. They told her that her lungs were affected; that medicine might alleviate, but a change of climate was the only remedy that offered a prospect of cure. Ill and despondent she delayed as long as possible her departure, but at last it became imperative, and . she came to an aunt at Verdi, Nevada, in the hope of finding health and strength in the pure air and among the pines of ,the Sierra Nevadas. But she con tinued to fail, and to add to her mis eries, learned to know the anguished (sufferings which attend that complica tion of ills, that for want of better nomenclature, has been denominated "female weakness. " ; And now comes the miraculous part of the story, just as she told it to the interviewer last night: " "I ran down to 118 pounds," she said, "suffered tortures from those ter rible headaches and from sleeplessness. My aunt persuaded me to try Dr. AVil liams' Pink Pills for Pale People. I had used nearly every kind of 'prescrip tion,' could get no relief from them, and hoped for none from these pills. . " But to please auntie I began to take them. From the first day I noticed a bieficial effect. The headaches grew less severe; my appetite gradually re turned. I could sleep nights and be gan to get good and strong. "I used to take one of them three 'times a day. In two months I weighed 138 pounds, and was entirely well, and have been well ever since. The win ters at Verdi were very cold and, be sides, I had heard so much about South ern California that I came to Los Angeles. "Dr. Williams Pink Pills have helped me more than anything I have ever taken. I thank them for my health and ability to enjoy life. I am living at NorSOO Hope street, Los An geles, anT shall be only too glad to re peat what I have just said, to anybody, either in person or by letter." So spoke young and attractive Maud Lease, and no one who saw her big eyes snap as she said it could doubt the earnestness and sincerity of her state ments. And that is why we say the story of a miracle is floating through the air, although now the miracle has become an established fact. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain, in a condensed form, all the elements necessary to give new life and. richness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are an unfailing specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after effect of la grippe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, all forms of weakness either in male or female. Pink Pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent post paid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box, or six boxes for . $2.50 (they are never sold in bulk or by the 100), by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y. The banks of Newfoundland are made by the sand, ice and stone brought from the north by the icebergs. 8100- REWARD SIOO. The readers of this naner will be nlpispri tn learn that there is at least one dreaded d sease that science has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cnre is the only positive cure knows to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitu tional disease, requires a constitutional treat ment. Hall's Catarrh Core is taken iniemiillv, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroy ing tlie luuiiuHiiuu oi me uisease, ana giving tlie pa tient strength bv building im the wnittitut and assisting nature in doing its work. The proprietors have so much faith in its curative powers, that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to tnra. sn.l for list of testimonials. Address, F. J. CHENEY fc CO., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, 75c Hall's Family Pills are the best. America is the only country in which a baby elephant was born in captivity. 'Drop us a line if you earn get Schilling's Best of you grocer, or if you don't lik- it and can't get your money back. A Schilling ft Company 9M rnuicucsi n . BROKEN DOWN WOMEN And men find permanent cnre in Ir. Leo pold's Compound Medicated Electric Belt. Best, solace, comfort, for nerve and brain. Five times the curative power of anv other belt at HALF the price. Permanent cure guaranteed. Consultation free, bv mail, or at office, 148 Sixth street, Portland, Or. . SURE CURE for PILES Itch ma- and Rlitwl Rk i.r- - UmmHIni, M wtlit UM SR..BQ-SAN-KCV i-'ILE REMEDY. .k . li"wMWin. ipii:vBt:ure. CircuUr. Mut Ire. Pri . DrussuugrauM. Mat. UOSAJiKO, i'kua. Fa. ; A SURVIVAL OF NONSENSE. Soma Absurdities Connected frith Letter Writing. - Why do we write "Esq." after a man's name or "Mr." before it Jn ad dressing a letter? Why do we write "Dear Sir" even in addressing the veri est stranger? "Why do we subscribe ourselves to all correspondents as "Yours truly," or other words to that meaningless effect? We do none of these things in tele grams, yet we do not feel tnttt we a discourteous to John Jones when we address him by telegraph solely as John Jones and sign our names at thei end of the dispatch without any flour ish of words. Why should we not be as direct, simple and truthful in our let ters as in our telegrams? - All these practices are survivals from an age of leisure, extravagance and servility of mind. They are now an Ab surdity and a costly one. More than three billion letters are written every year in the United States. Allowing half a minute as the time consumed in writing "Dear Sir" and "Yours truly" Inside and "Mr." and "Esq." outside of each of these letters, and allowing 300 working days of ten hours each to the year, the people of the United States waste In this way 8,333 years of time every year. In other words, we actually waste the whole time of more than 8,000 persons In writing "Dear Sir." "Yours truly," "Mr." and "Esq." At the lowest calculation the time thus wasted each year is worth ten millions of dollars, or half a river and harbor bill. The sole purpose of a superscription on a letter is to tell the postofflce peo ple to whom and where to deliver it. All that is necessary for that purpose is to write the name and address, "J. Wintersmith, 3 John street, New York City," completely fills the requirement All else is waste. There is no occasion to tell the postman that J. Wintersmith is a clergyman by writing "Rev." be fore his name, or that he is a woman and unmarried by writing "Miss" there, or that J. W. aforesaid is a married woman, or has been, by writing "Mrs." But we have worse habits than these. In addition to the meaningless "Mr." and the absurd "Esq." we are constantly addressing men as "Hon." or " Jol." or "Kev." Why do we do it? As every little politician who gets him self elected an alderman or a member of the Legislature is thenceforth for ever called "Hon.," why should any body think it a requirement of courtesy to address so justly distinguished a man as William L. Wilson, for exam ple, as "Hon. W. L. Wilson?" We do not speak of Hon. Thomas Jefferson or Hon. Daniel Webster. - Military titles are necessary in mili tary life. In addressing a general or a colonel in the field an indication of his rank helps to find him, and perhaps it helps discipline, too. But why should we go on calling men colonel, general,' major and the like long after they have retired to civil life, merely because they held such rank in the volunteer forces of thirty-odd years ago or be cause some governor has appointed them to his staff? We do not speak or think of Gen. George Washington or Gen. Hannibal or Gen. Julius Caesar. Still worse is the title gratuitously conferred, the "honorary" title of col- j onel and the like. There are tens of thousands of "colonels" in this country, i who never commanded a squad, and ! "judges" who never sat on any bench or read a page of law. j It is all falsehood and flummery. As an honest, self-respecting people, why should we not rid ourselves of it? "Mr." Is convenient when the first name of the person addressed or referred to la not used. So are "Mrs." and "Miss : n like circumstances. All the rest are fleather and prunella," which Is the poet's phrase for stuff and nonsense. 1 New York World. The First literary Critic. While the writings of Aristotle, Plato and other eminent philosophers, before the Christian era, are in a sense criti cal, those of Plato especially bearing this character, the first professional literary critic, who can be classed as such, was Longinus, a Greek philoso pher, born A. D. 213, and put to death at Palmyra, A. D. 273, by Anrelian, after Zenobla had been defeated and Palmyra taken. The works of Longi nus have been jr reserved only In frag mentary form, but laid down the jines of criticism, which, In most essential particulars, have been followed by sub sequent writers. The fragment of his essay "On the Sublime" has been the. model for subsequent essayists, even the great Burke not disdaining to imi tate his style of handling a snbject. A Ring in a Cow. A gold ring that is supposed to have spent nearly two years in a cow's stom ach was sent the other day to its owner, a young lady of Homestead, Pa. Two years ago the young lady was visiting on a dairy farm, and while In the barn picked up a kitten and tossed it in a pile of chop and. bran. With the kitten went a gold ring from her finger, which could not be found,' and was given up and finally forgotten. Several days ago Edward Jones, a butcher, bought a cow from the dairyman, and when the cow was killed the ring, with the young lady's name- engraved upon it, was found In its stomach. Tbis Is Hard to Believe. queer story Is told of an English naturalist, who died In 1860, and was buried at Blankey, in Lincolnshire. Among his pets was a large gray bat. This bat was permitted to enter the tomb, and was sealed up alive along with the corpse of his dead master. In 1866 the vault was opened,, and to the surprise of all the bat was alive and fat. On four different occasions since the relatives of the dead man have looked after the welfare of his pet, and each time it has been reported that the bat was still in the land of the living, although occupying quarters with the dead. It was last seen in 1892. Jacky's Wisdom. "Papa," said Jacky, "would you like to have me give you a perfectly beauti ful Christmas present?" "Yes, indeed." "Then now Is the time to double my allowance, so's I'll have the money to buy It when Christmas comes." Harper's Bazar. Ob, What Happy Days! Barbers in the -early days of the Christian era were not permitted to talk while shaving a patron. Indeed, silence was so much appreciated by persons while tinder the barber's hands that mutes were preferred for this ser vice. - - -' On the Right Track. ' "Tommy, what is a miracle?" "Som'thin that never happens, mum." , "No; it Isn't exactly that But'ean yon Illustrate what you mean." : "All I know Is that mom says it would be a miracle If pap come home sober. Philadelphia North American. A man is occasionally called chicken hearted because be refuses to ateaL a mtm m m HUW WIIHUUI A nIVAL. No Remedy to Compare With Paine's Celery Compound. Read the Really Wonderful Experience of Rev. Dr. Bailey and His Cood Wife, and the Indorsements of Other Eminent Divines. Here is a letter from the pastor of the most influential church in South Baltimore, that every truth-seeker should read carefully. Every disheartened sick person and every man or woman who. has lost faith in the remedies he or she has tried because none of them has done any good every one who is sick ought to be cheered up and filled with new hope and determination by the letter written by Rev. William T. Bailey, pastor of the Curtis Bay Church, the most influential church in South Balti more. On March 31, 1896, the Baltimore Sun, under display headlines, pub lished the following news of Rev. Mr. Bailey's affliction: "Rev. Wm. T. Bailey, pastor of the Curtis Bay Baptist church, was para lyzed in the tongue while preaching Sunday night, and" lost the power of speech. . The congregation was at once dismissed, and Dr. was called. He said Mr. Bailey was suffering from a severe attack of nervous prostration caused by hard study and overwork, and that he must have rest and quiet." The whole city was shocked. The papers soon began to record an improve ment On April 13, 1896, the following open letter was addressed to the proprietors of Paine's celery compound: South Baltimore, Md., April 13, 1896. Messrs. Wells, Richardson & Co. : Gentlemen I was taken very ill while preaching Easter Sunday night. My doctor could not help me, so I dis charged him and began to use Paine's celery compound with crushing effect. I will not hesitate to say that it is the best medicine in the world. I am, Fraternally, William T. Bailey. Later in the year the proprietors of this wonderful remedy received still another letter from Dr. Bailey, as fol lows: Gentlemen I propose to do what I can to let people know of your Paine's celery compound, the medicine that has done me so much good. I shall in my own way, in speaking of my rapid and great improvement, from the pulpit, give, as is justly due, tribute to Paine's celery compound. I married, six years ago, Miss Lillie B. Duniiavant, a lady well known in social life, the niece of Capt. Robert F. Lewis, U. S. navy. During the whole six years she has been an in valid, suffering from hysteria, laugh ing, crying and screaming, so that she pould be heard for squares. I have had a great deal of trouble and expense. Eighteen doctors have, first and last, REASONS i I Walter Baker & Co.'s Breakfast Cocoa. 2 K$WpJGh. Because it is absolutely pure. Because it is not made by the so-called Dutch Process in which chemicals are used Because beans of the finest quality are used. Because it is made by a method which preserves unimpaired the exquisite natural flavor and odor of the beans. Because it is the most economical, costing less than one. cent a cup. Be sure that you get the genuine article made by WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd., Dorchester, Mass. Established 1780. aAAAAAAAAAAAAAJ WtTVtWtI Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt There is not a hamlet on the Pacific coast bnt has one or more who owe their happiness to it. This is the record of five years of good work. "Belt has proved entirely satisfactory; my appetite ia great, digestion good, memory Improving-, muscles hard and strong, bowels in good order, sexual strength improving, great increase of confidence. Can do more work with greater ease than I ever have done before." K. IS. DOUGLAS, S tarn wood. Wash., March 11, 1897. What a record this paper conld show if people cured of snch tronbles would allow their names to be used! Every day some Kratefnl, restored man (fives thanks to Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt. 80 will you if yon try it. Send for the book, "Three Classes of Men," free, sealed closely, by mail. Call or address SANDEN ELECTRIC BELT CO., SB3 We,,t Washington St., Portland. Or. Whtn writing to Advertiter please mention Wits paper. Cheapest Power... IN GUARANTEED ORDER. 405-7 Sansome Street San Francisco, Cal... . attended her, and one bottle of Paine's celery compound has done her more good than all of the other medicine. She and I are together using Paine's celery compound, and I will with pleas ure let you know the result. Frater nally, William T. Bailey. Baltimore, May 18, 1898. Wells, Richardson & Co. : J Gentlemen It is impossible for me to express the emotions of my heart on the great good Mrs. Bailey and I have derived from the use of Paine's celery compound. I am a new man. AVe have taken together eight bottles, and I wish to continue its use. The people of my church are very kind to the poor, and I have given to some of the poor money with which to purchase the medicine. You may use my name if you wish and I will with pleasure answer all communications sent me. I believe the remedy is the best in the world. Yours very truly, William T. Bailey, Pastor Curtiss Bay Baptist Church. A few weeks ago there was published a testimonal of the great virtue of Paine's celery compound from Rev. Charles L. Thompson, D. D., LL. D., the eminent Presbyterian preacher of New York City. Rev. Dr. Meek, editor of the Central Methodist, recently wrote an open letter, telling that Paine's celery compound had worked a remark able cure in his case. And last montli the great temperance evangelist.Francis Murphy, told the public how Paine's celery compound had been a blessing in his family. - These are few among thousands. Every one knows conscientious, char itable persons who are too busy, more often too procrastinating, to save their health from going to pieces, and find it easier to help others than themselves. Such persons fill up the army of broken down busiuess men and sickly women. Every one in this spring time needs to purify the blood and regulate the nerves. Carry home today not by and by a bottle of Paine's celery com pound. Cure nervousness, neuralgia, and rheumatism this spring. You can now put your health on a sound basis by means of Paine's celery compound. Charity should begin at home. At tend to your own health and that of your family. Paine's celery compound is within reach of every family where there is a member afflicted by any 6tomach, liver or kidney trouble. , It cures permanent ly and rapidly. It must be distinguished from all other remedies. FOR USING- YOUNG MAN! You have exceeded the limit allowed by nature in the enjoyment of worl ly pleas ures. You have at some time overtaxed your nervous system, and thtre is a weak ness lurking there, Teady to break forth in all its pitiable, destmotivceffeets upon you. Do not disregard- these little symptoms, which you feel from day to day; they are messages tt'llinj of the goffering" of vour nerves, and warning you that a break-down is near. It may come tomorrow, and then it will be too late to mend. Mend now. What ener-y is left you, put it forth and save yourself. Call on or write to Dr. Sanden and study his plan. Study how so many unfortunates have been save. I. Don't wait;" act today. Jt is of vital im portance to yon. 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